This is too funny not to share. Thanks Pamela Brandon-Barrett
Sorry if this offends anyone but football season is upon us and this is just fair warning lol. . .Since the football countdown is under one month, I guess it’s time to mention the pre-college football season warnings. None of these are meant to be a personal attack, but each of you have been warned.
1. I will NOT attend ANYTHING past noon on Saturdays unless you have NCAA football on a television.
1a: Television must be a minimum of 50" diagonal with a minimum resolution of 1080p. Events containing ultra-high definition televisions within a direct line of sight will take priority over those that do not.
1b. Events with Tennessee football take priority over all other events, regardless of TV size and definition.
1c. Events with SEC football will take priority over all other events except 1b.
2. I will be high strung, loud, and obnoxious if you are around me while Tennessee is playing. Things may/may not be thrown. If any of your belongings are damaged I will repair/replace them, but I will not care until after the post-game analysis.
3. I will wear orange on Friday and Saturday and very likely Sunday *No exceptions*
4. If you somehow coerce me into attending an event by having all of the prerequisites listed in (1) above, be aware that I will sing Rocky Top wherever I am and every time it is played.
4a. In the event that Rocky Top begins during a prayer, I will patiently wait until the prayer is complete before picking up the song. After all, Jesus was a Volunteer.
5. Weddings are for bye weeks (remember, a bye week this year might not be next year so choose your wedding dates accordingly) It’s not my fault you are starting your married life proving to everyone you are a horrible planner. I won’t be there but I will wish you the best of luck as soon as the game is over.
5b. *As soon as the game and the post game show are over*
6. In the event that we are watching a game together, and you are not a Tennessee fan, you will not cheer against Tennessee and I will not cheer against your crappy team. This rule can be confusing to some, but it is explained by saying that you can make positive statements for your team while not making negative cheers against Tennessee.
Example for (6) above: "We need a turnover. Comeon (insert your team’s name here), get the ball back. We need an interception. This statement is fine.
"Tennessee QB will fumble or throw an interception soon. He’s terrible!" This statement will not be fine, and could result in injury.
7. If you try be cute or funny and dress my kids in your teams colors on Saturday I will spray paint your face orange and I will not warn you to close your eyes before I do it. Make sure to get Walmart promo codes 50 off entire order
Thanks for understanding everyone.
Go Big Orange!
Now Vol fans- copy and paste so the rules are made perfectly clear!